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Studying Sassy: September 91

Sassy Sept. 91 Cooties! No. 42

September is the beginning time for many things..... Fall fashions. School. My birth year. It's also a notoriously busy time for me, which is why I'm posting about the September issue in..... November.

*DISCLAIMER: I no longer have copies of the August 91 or October 91 issues. My collection is missing a few others as well. Thank you for your understanding.*

Fall of 1991 was when I transitioned from elementary school to middle school, and began 5th grade. I got a new haircut, and some stylish new fashions, and took a super cute school photo:

Like most photos, however, this was not truly accurate in terms of what I looked like day-to-day. I was at the tail end of a huge growth spurt, and was unknowingly about to begin menarche (that's the first menstrual bleed, in case you weren't aware). Also not pictured: acne, and awkward boob growth. Puberty, you are a cruel, tricky force of nature.

Since I was at a new school, with mostly older kids, I was trying very hard to impress. Sassy came in handy, to some degree, by showing me what was cool. However, as the awkward tween that I was, I didn't get that NOBODY ELSE I KNEW was reading Sassy. So my attempts to follow along the magazine's guidance was still missing the mark in my suburban Northern California school.


So I guess turmeric has been trending for like 25 years! Also, cranberry juice.

In About Face, there is much to learn. The cover model, Chandra, has been featured in many issues this year alone. She hails from Texas, and at the time of publication was 20 years old. We are also introduced to Bobbi Brown lipstick, which was launched with 10 shades designed to work on all skin tones. Also, a tip I have put into practice time and time again: body lotion as hair product for curly hair. I only use it on myself in case of emergency, but have had great results recommending it to men and children as an inexpensive way to moisturize and hold curl without crunchy residue. Thanks, Sassy!

Also, here is that model again, with the perfect bangs of my dreams! I still need to find a skirt so that I can make that babydoll dress from the July issue.

Can we reminisce for a moment about Hypercolor clothing? I don't think I actually ever owned any, but I was certainly aware of its existence at the time. In retrospect, I absolutely would have been someone with splotches of color only in embarrassing sweaty areas like under my arms or the small of my back. Hormones+heat activated color change=NOT CUTE.

At the time, I probably wanted the little yellow Mary Jane's, but now.... Those booties in the upper left corner are calling my name. Guess? do you have any of those as deadstock, in a 9.5?

If I was extra awesome, and had really planned ahead, I would have made this skirt as part of my Halloween costume this year. I went as Blossom, and as all 90's kids know, in the opening sequence for Season 2, Blossom begins her dance wearing an oversized sweater and a skirt made of neckties. This ribbony number could have easily been modified to look like those ties. And still nobody would have had any clue who I was supposed to be.

Mayim Bialik as Blossom (circa 1993?) Vs. Kaity as Blossom (circa 2016).

It would be 4 more years before I actually went to Canada, but I agree that Victoria, and Vancouver, are lovely.

What Now has become infinitely easier to read in the last few months, that's for sure.

The In/Out comparison chart raises some eyebrows, such as saying that hickeys are in but the 70's are out. Especially since clogs are in??? Ooooookay.

Back to serious matters: Jamie Walters.Apparently I missed my chance to get a free tee shirt from the movie "Shout," Bummer.

Sorry it's so out of focus. Maybe you'll prefer this photo of Counting Crows, with fucking sideways text.

Ok, so I was 5'5" during this time, which was taller than my 5th grade teacher. I was 10 years old. That messed with my head a little bit, because people thought I was older than I was. I still played with Barbies sometimes, but people thought I could drive. It's a weird thing to be getting attention, especially from way older men, when you still aren't sure how you feel about boys at all. I had little crushes on boys my age, but no interest in following through with that. Holding hands seemed gross! The next few years were so weird, and confusing; feeling like I was uninteresting to boys my age, but slowing becoming aware that adults found me interesting.

(Also, I am definitely not a member of the frequent pee-ers club. So much so that it worries my boyfriend. Right. honey?)

The Man in the Moon was totally my jam. Sweet, romantic, heartbreaking..... Loved this movie. I'm realizing that I don't think I ever saw My Own Private Idaho (too young at the time probably) but will add that to the list of things to revisit.

In case I haven't mentioned enough that in September of 1991 I turned 10 years old, this should make it clear. This issue contained Beverly Hills 90210 paper dolls AND I CUT SOME OF THEM OUT. I watched this show with my mom, and Dylan was my favorite, yet I cut out Brandon and Kelly? I got the Barbie doll versions of a few (Dylan, Kelly, and Donna), so why did I need to cut out this magazine? A huge part of the article about farming is gone because of it!!!

One of my favorite moments in this issue (more to come) is the fashion spread pretentiously titled "Vous etes vraiment une Artiste." *You are truly an Artist*

Smocks, berets, and fisherman stripes..... Exactly how every teen-aged girl imagines real artists dress.

Look at the ecstasy generated by the creative process, and by designer jeans.

This next article is one I thoroughly re-read, as I was hoping to obtain some kernel of wisdom for my adult life.

It only kind of helped.

Middle school actually wasn't that bad for me, likely because I wasn't self conscious about being smart and liking school until 8th grade. I was able to find friends who also liked school, and certainly got encouragement from teachers, so popularity was a huge concern. Until liking boys factored in, because it was the popular girls that the cool boys liked. I wasn't one of them.

Ok, now we are getting into some influential shit in a major way. Primal Beauty is about tattoos and piercings, both of which I have added to my person in excess, beginning with what my mother would allow in high school.

Like, literally I had my ears pierced like this woman for many years. Some of the holes are still open.

I thought it looked pretty, until a guy I dated in college said I looked like a spiral notebook (thanks, Dan) and I took them all out. I pierced my nose at 18, and my nipples at 19. The nose and a few of the holes in my lobes are all that remain. Tattoos..... Are a whole other story.

I'm not sure why they are making a whole photo story about white and oatmeal colored clothes. Everyone knows it's not allowed after Labor Day.

She's like "I'm breaking ALL the fashion rules."

Next cool thing: A feature on women in the music industry, where they all talk about the requirements of their jobs, and how to break into the business. Also, these women look like actual, real women, which makes them so much more relatable and inspirational.

Now, for some of my favorite ads:

And because it was my birth-month, the horoscope:

Is the "choice Leo morsel" my boyfriend maybe? Regardless, my birthday was one of the Days to Live for, so thank goodness for that. I have no idea how I celebrated my 10th birthday. It was hard having a birthday so early in the school year. It was still practically summer outside, and I hadn't made new friends yet. But oh well. I survived to post in a blog about it 25 years later.

November issue coming soon, I promise. Or, at least before December begins.

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