Studying Sassy: March 92

Sassy March '92 Bob Hope, Madman 48

Dang, it's Prom time again. March is a gloomy, not yet Spring kind of month AND it's prom? Lame.

In 2017, it's the last day of the month, so it seems like I missed the big dance. (In high school, I only went to prom my senior year anyhow.) But! There's no reason why we can't enjoy the magic of an early-'90's prom together!

In this issue, I'm particularly enchanted by the ads, so I documented a lot of them. Starting with this ad for Swatch, featuring a very upscale lady with an electric yellow timepiece, and very classy gloves.

Diary introduces a new art director to the magazine, and a change in formatting and typeface. I like the changes overall. I'm also happy that the size of the actual magazine is smaller, which makes them easier to stack.

These days, my room is cleaner than the planet, which says more about the filthy state of our planet than it does about the cleanliness of my room (especially since I got a cat).

I don't remember there being a Merry Go Round near where I grew up, but then I was also 10 when this issue came out.

Side note: I recently worked on a feature that mostly took place in the 1980's and 90's, and I snagged a jacket from the wardrobe department that is almost exactly this print, but in denim. It's super amazing. I just wish I had it when I dressed as Blossom for Halloween.

Cool looking chicks with butterfly clips?!?!???? I don't think so. I've never been a fan, I get that it's convenient but so are elastic bands to be honest.

Telling teenagers to replace their mattresses is like trying to sell them life insurance. Like, who is gonna do that? Who buys their own mattress and also goes to prom? Pick a lane!

Tennis stars use moisturizer that smells like old ladies too!

I like this photograph a lot. The 90's to me were a time (somewhat after this was published) where very thin, plucked brows became a thing again. So it's slightly ironic to think of this review of products to make brows more lush (as I am still trying to regrow some of the hairs I plucked in my youth, and now regret losing).

Holy Lord! Tying a shirt around your butt as a *NEW* idea? Wearing little shorties under your dress is a novel trend, and one you have to cut off your leggings to achieve????? Doc Martens are still a thing we don't know about (even though they have been featured in, oh, probably the last five issues of this magazine)? Bandanna "do-rag" styling tips?!?!?!?!?! I guess I forgot that this was 25 years ago for a minute.

Hey! There are all those Doc Martens! Thank goodness.

In this issue, the battle between the Sassaby organizer and the Caboodle is more intense than ever...... As you can see, Sassaby only sprung for a single page ad, but it is quite vibrant and bold. Also! They offer a free lipstick organizer! Your move, Caboodle.....

Teenage Fanclub is the only one of these bands I've ever heard of. But I guess that's why Geffen has to promote them on a mixed cassette for prom.

Hahahahahahahaha! Jamie Foxx's promo photo is him sitting backwards in a chair.

Most important part of this feature on Staci Keanan? I like her outfit.

Oh! Those were some fruity, slimy, shiny lip balms! I think I had the ones that came in a pot, and lint would get all stuck to the balm around the edges of the lid and it looked horrible when you'd open them up. I never finished them But I'm also terrible about reapplying things to my mouth, and always have been.

Ummmm the Cute Band Alert is Bikini Kill! And the last What Now? (which I didn't write about yet, because I'm a lazy batch) talked about the original Riot Grrl zine. Amazing.

!!!!!!!! Also, Russian pen pals anyone? No better time than the present!

Alright, Caboodles. Marketing to the organized lady with a very nicely organized ad. Showing versatility, and options, and keeping that chaos under control. "It just handles everything."

Well played. Very well played.

So, here's a bunch of prom.

I am so delighted that Sassy seems to think this is an option for prom-wear. Especially with the disclaimer "you should probably wear underwear" and the juxtaposition of this image and the ad next to it:

The annual "how to get ready for prom" instructions are here! I'm not going to do it this year, for a variety of reasons. Most of which have to do with the fact that it is March 31 and I have actual work I need to attend to today and I'm feeling very 35 and not like an ingenue at all.

More prom.

I think this might be Amy Smart. ------------------------->

Maybe????

I didn't actually read this article. I forgot. I am the worst, not because I didn't read it when I was going through the magazine, but because I'm blogging about how I didn't read it, nor do I intend to now. I should have just deleted this photo and you would have never known. And yet....

I only skimmed this article. As though that helps.

I DID read this one. I got way into aromatherapy and witchcraft and the metaphysical world around this time, and I'm pretty sure I talked my mom into letting me read this woman's book because of this article. I'm still attuned to nature in many ways (homeopathy, energetic frequency, yoga) but the religion part never stuck with me. However, I was definitely one of those girls who, when the movie The Craft came out, was like "Pshaw... now everybody's gonna think they're a witch." Hahahahahaha!

Overalls! Loved them then (with just one side fastened, naturally). Still wear them now. Check out my Instagram for proof. @kaitylicina. Boom.

Oh! And clogs. But less garden-y than these.

More prom, for those who maybe don't want to go/won't be going this year.

I definitely read this one. It was slightly inane (or, you know, I'M 35 NOW), but whatever.

Skimmed this one too/checked out when they started talking about wanting to be the cute one's girlfriend because he kicked their shoes. *eye roll*

No, dandruff is actually caused by a fungal infection. Dry scalp is like dry skin on your face. Dandruff doesn't feel tight like dry scalp does, and is often a little greasy.

Do you think Goldie is a nom de plume? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL But seriously, that must have sucked.

Aaaaaaaaand mashed potatoes. Just because. Obviously a prom thing.

The next issue is epic. Well, at least, it is the reason why I started this whole blog. Or, the reason why I was so glad I kept all these magazines for so long. You'll see. And after that...... a few more years of half-hearted blogging I guess. *sigh*