Studying Sassy: October 91

THIS JUST IN: Someone (me) mis-ordered the stack of Sassys, and October 91 was hiding (in plain sight) just underneath November 91! So.... quick like a bunny, here it is!!!

Sassy Oct. 91 What's Eating Mila? No.43

First off, how did I miss this rad cover of Mila Jovovich???? It's so...... October-y.

Second, other than a brief (and very Sassy) Q&A, where it is mentioned that Mila is in the movie Return to the Blue Lagoon, there is no real explanation for Mila being so very orange, and so very much on the cover.

First ad in the magazine:

I feel pretty confident that this product (or one like it) was part of my new-found hair regime. I remember this line of products smelling faintly lemony, and working just ok. Things have come a long way in the hair product world in the last 25 years.

Just to clear the air, I am obviously not a teenage girl reading this magazine designed for teenage girls. However, this magazine is being WRITTEN and GENERATED by adult women. It is now, more than ever in the revisiting of these magazines, clear to me how childish those women can come across. Maybe it was, in some way, intentional; possibly a means to seems relatable to their readers. There are articles in each issue solving typical teen problems: dating, acne, friend issues, parent stuff. This month's installment of Diary (where Editor-in-Chief Jane Pratt addresses the reader directly) is on a whole other level. I'm really, truly hoping that this was intended to be a joke, and not the incredibly indulgent cry for attention it seems to be.

I am kind of embarrassed on behalf of this woman Kim for how she comes across. I thought this would be a magazine that would empower the girls that read it, and this doesn't do it for me. She's basically asking that readers send her fan mail, and acknowledge how "great and cute I am and how all the readers should love me and idolize me and.....wished they had hair just like mine." Again. I hope this was a joke.

So, speaking of women who like attention, look at who is in this Esprit ad!

Wait, is that.......?

Why, yes it is!

On the next page begins a trend that carries into the November issue (which I was planning to post about today, but then October appeared, and I thought chronology was important).

Woman for president, you say? Let's hope. (The election is literally tomorrow. And in October 1991, Bill Clinton was running for office. 25 years later, Hillary is. More on that in the next blog.)

Again, with the perfect timing: I may or may not be slightly more self conscious recently about my tum. (It's not a paunch, exactly. I'm just a little rounder between the hipbones than I remember being.)

So, thank you, vintage teen magazine, for guiding me as to how I should get rid of it.

These are some of the first clothes pictured in What Next that not only look super 90's to me, but also totally uninteresting.

It was recommended to me, by my family, that before I begin 5th grade I should start shaving my legs. The situation was pretty intense, no lie. My mom bought me a Flicker razor (advertised in the pages of Sassy) and I used seriously like 5 blades to get through the forest of hair on my legs. It was awesome/awful. Then, come springtime, I got my period. I'm not sure I remembered this article when that happened, but I did know some crazy shit was going down. So perhaps this had helped.

I've never been to Portland, OR but this just makes me want to go!

I've never been to Portland, Maine either. Just to clarify.

It Happened To Me is sometimes something I skip during these re-caps. I liked this one, about growing up with a port-wine birthmark on your face. I didn't realize laser treatments were around back then, but likely they have just become so much more popular lately that culturally we are accepting of what they can do. I do have a birthmark, but it is on my butt and therefore I do not feel the need to cover it with anything other than clothes. But I can identify very much with feeling the need to wear a lot of makeup in order to hide my skin, and also feeling phony for doing so.

Oh, What Now. So sparkly and bright.

Hi Brad Pitt!

AM I relationship ready? Oh gosh, I never thought I should take a quiz first.

Ok, is this Kate Pierson or no? I Googled to see if I could confirm, but no luck.

I am pleased with how realistic Sassy is about this girl's chances at becoming a model. She is super pretty, and exotic, but slightly too short, and nobody wants to sign her. Sassy thinks this sucks, and hated how much this girl was treated like meat. I agree, since she photographs well! Maybe she was able to do more print/beauty work, since she has such a great face. Modeling is a tough gig, so if she wants to do it, good for her. But I hope she has a backup plan also.

I just re-watched Nightmare on Elm Street for the first time in many, many years. I don't think I saw any of the other movies in the series though...... I feel like I should show this article to my boyfriend (who loves horror) because he might get a kick out of the behind-the-scenes details.

Friendships are something i have always struggled with. I have had some very close friendships, for sure, but in between I have felt like an outsider; hanging just on the fringe of a pair or group of friends with a much deeper connection than I share with any of them. Therefore, the pessimistic tone of this article makes me feel somewhat better about all that. I definitely have a friend since high school that, no matter how long we go without talking, it feels like no time has passed. I have a similar friendship from my time in Chicago. And, as an adult, I certainly have friends who are willing to stick through tough times as much as they are through hilarity. So, overall, I'm just fine. Maybe even normal?

Ok, so unlike the previous fashions shown in this issue, I want all of the things in Choose. I already have some of them, so it's just a matter of time before I get them all.

And then, there's this!!!! Obviously, This type of fashion stuck with me for all these years. I genuinely love these looks (all of them) and hope I look some small percentage as cool as they do.

I have never officially worn a dress over jeans, but maybe now I will.

I am actually wearing a scoop-necked black a-line dress as I type these words.

Shut UP!!! I cut the sleeves of crew neck shirts shorter too. Amazing.

Ok, this is a bit body-con for me at the moment, except for the clogs. Oh, and the overalls. JK. Totally up my alley too! I am masquerading through 2016 as a staff member at Sassy circa 1991.

See, now here is some the type of intellectual, enriching Sassy magazine I know. Encouraging young readers to be more aware of what's happening in the world around them. It's not just cute bands and fan mail all the time. This account of the conflict between Palestine and Israel, told from the perspectives of teenagers on both sides, is beautiful and sad. And it puts all those cute clothes into a different light, when thinking about living in the midst of constant warfare and disruption and fear.

Also, this is how the article was printed. Sideways. Fucking Sassy.

This is maybe the strangest fiction I have read in a long time. Even in Sassy. Wow. It's like a love triangle, except nobody likes each other, and then they all laugh about it.

There is apparently such a thing as the Sassiest Boy in America. This time, his name is Mike and he is from Portland. And he is Sassy because he is a musician, rides a skateboard, thrift shops, has a girlfriend who doesn't shave her legs, and that's about it.

This plea for ideas to fill the last page of the magazine appears here. I seem to have lost the back cover at some point.

And thus ends October, the issue I though was not, but in fact, is.

I was going to blog about November 91 today, as that was also an election year and the issue focused a lot about the idea of a woman president. Tomorrow, 25 years later, we may be electing the wife of the man we elected in 1991 to be our first female president ever. I am incredibly nervous about how the whole thing might go down, as the race is currently close and her opponent (as well the main group supporting his run ) is volatile, and mean, and incites anger to the point of violence. Even if she wins, I have a lot of fear for how people will react. So, rather than write a whole blog about that, I think I need to see how things play out and review the November 91 issue accordingly.

Wishing us all good luck.